Blog Archives

Three nights on melatonin were lovely, but I don’t want to be dependent on drugs to sleep. Well, four nights, though I only had three grams last night. I have to wait about a month and a half to hear … Continue reading →

Aside | Posted on April 1, 2014 by

Feel Alone.

Sometimes I don’t want to get better, I just want to close my eyes and have it all end, but then something small.will.remind me that tomorrow, or even today, could be interesting, could feel a bit better. I know I’m … Continue reading →

Aside | Posted on January 24, 2014 by

I’m sad today, because the future is scary. Ha ha. I’m scared because all my plans have derailed, at my hand, more or less. Well, the mental illness isn’t my fault, but now that I’m aware that I have an … Continue reading →

Aside | Posted on January 14, 2014 by

Rambling.

Okay so time to start living again. In a living room, with friends who are studying for a class I dropped. They are learning viel und viel, und ich werder doofer und doofer. Aber das ist nicht richtig. I believe … Continue reading →

Aside | Posted on December 12, 2013 by

Blogging from my phone! Very exciting. I am doing well. It is noticeable. It is good. Light is shining again, from me and from the world. Dreams are forming, hope is rebuilding. I no longer want to spend all my … Continue reading →

Aside | Posted on December 1, 2013 by

Lost again in the tide, struggling to swim. I’m detached from this world. Leave it? No. No. Home has become the faces of familiar webpages. This blog, Facebook, my email. Why is that? Unsure. I have left earth and am … Continue reading →

Aside | Posted on November 15, 2013 by | Tagged

Gratitude. I’ve been hearing and seeing a lot about gratitude. I am grateful for many things. I am forgetting to remember them. I wonder how simple this all is, this healing business. How easy could it be? I already feel … Continue reading →

Aside | Posted on October 18, 2013 by | Tagged

Difficulty making decisions. Difficulty writing. The future seems grim, though I know it isn’t. No one can make my problems go away. Meditation will help. Breathing. Life, I am separated from life. I envision a future where I can simply … Continue reading →

Aside | Posted on September 9, 2013 by | Tagged ,

It’s one of those days where I really have to force myself to write. I’m done with feeling inadequate. I’m intelligent and interesting and have substance to offer the world. I’m so quick to downplay my achievements, to tell myself … Continue reading →

Aside | Posted on August 18, 2013 by | Tagged

Just Start.

On days I do not feel I can write, all I have to do is start. I’m drinking water from a porcelain tea mug. It is dainty and unlike what I would buy. I wonder whether Fred Calhoun has passed … Continue reading →

Aside | Posted on July 1, 2013 by