Tag Archives: mental-health

Befriending

Jealousy. Bitterness. Spite. Rage. These course through me repeatedly at various intervals, turning the inner eye inside out. The minuscule veins bloom from the sight-bulb as it scans the lives of others through a putrid lens of desire. It’s an … Continue reading

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Perfect Sight

There is a white hot rage in me, mixed in with a black tar rotting decay. A festering volcano, the afterbirth of trauma. Lack of control of internal emotional processes. This is a legacy of being overpowered, you really lose … Continue reading

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Dancing.

Going out dancing. This is, not new, but new in that it’s been a while. I keep imagining it going poorly. Feeling isolated and alone. Not being able to enjoy myself. But this is phooey. I can’t predict the future. … Continue reading

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Adapting.

I am living guilt free. Stay in bed ’till four? OK! Eat three bagels in a row? OK! Not exercise whatsoever? OK! Sigh. None of these things are okay but I don’t know to stop the cycle of, whatever this … Continue reading

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Winning.

Listening to Rhiannon by Fleetwood Mac. “Will you ever win?” I feel like I’m winning. I got up early today, wrote a lot, read a lot, entertained some company. Doing well. The future doesn’t scare me nearly as much. The … Continue reading

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Living.

It’s no small thing to be alive. I need to remember that I have a duty to myself to embrace this experience. It is temporary. I feel small and insignificant, but so do most people. We’re not. I believe that … Continue reading

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Somehow, Somewhere.

I am in pain, and that’s okay. It doesn’t stop. It doesn’t go away. I am alone at the library. I am surrounded by people. I feel alone and desperate. Desperate for company and comfort. Comfort. How do I find … Continue reading

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Wanted: Change.

Facebook is my lifeblood, I am mildly ashamed to say. I’m not alone in that, I’m sure, but I dislike the fact that this is where most of my socializing occurs. It’s been like this too long. I’ve spent ten … Continue reading

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Lost again in the tide, struggling to swim. I’m detached from this world. Leave it? No. No. Home has become the faces of familiar webpages. This blog, Facebook, my email. Why is that? Unsure. I have left earth and am … Continue reading

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Gotta Move Mountains.

What is life, what is the meds, and what is the illness? I’m thinking my meds are making me sicker than my illness. I’m thinking that I need to accept that life is hard, that it can’t be like mania … Continue reading

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