The realization that I have never really tried. Sure, I have tried to make situations work out as best I could, but ultimately that was so mired by problems and pains that the effort was put into not falling apart, rather than the objective at hand.
Have I ever really taken care of myself, in a full way? How hard have I fought the darkness, used all the tools at my disposal, instead of succumbing immediately? The familiarity of misery. We long for what is familiar at the cost of what is possible. For life to truly move along, to truly evolve, I must be rid of old belief systems, ways of live, and ultimately people and environments.
What am I willing to sacrifice? To discard? Even if it has been the one pillar of my life, perhaps it is holding something which is not true shelter. The ability to envision a better life precedes having one. This involves identifying what must go.