Recovery of Self

I don’t want to talk about the things I have spent the last 5-6 years talking about. It is an odd thing to change so fundamentally, to truly crawl out of dead dry skin as a pulsing, moist creature. What it means to change is so immense. You cannot even gauge it. The horizon opens in front of you yet you remain staring at the ground. You think you are the ground.

It has at times helped me to think about my past, and the things I’ve overcome. There is, however, the danger of over-associating with the past. You must teach yourself to know more than your past. In imagining a future, you have to believe you can become that future, if not already are that future. You are as you imagine you are. Recovery of self is not the recovery of some muted thing, it is the recovery of possibility. The ancient adage there is no self still rings true.

Recovery of imagination. Recovery of potential. Recovery of dreaming of who you wish to become. When you think it, you have it, therefore recovery itself is a flawed premise. It is with you or it isn’t. You want it or you don’t. You’ll do it or you won’t. And all other rhyming opposites…

About Undecided Pseudonym

A woman who remembers enjoying writing.
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