In the task of falling asleep I find my mind filled with budding thoughts and discourses, and of course in the early rising to write, my consciousness has been razed by fatigue. Not entirely true. I could write about this breakfast cookie. Very tasty, moist and flavorful.
I worry about my hands. Typing, cell phone use, our hands and wrists are not made for these. Arguably they are better suited to boxing, however unnatural that it is, in it’s own way. It is perhaps more natural than my other pursuits, like acting and writing. Expression is natural, but language is strictly learned, we do not just do it. Acting, is it more unnatural than boxing? In a way it is. Public violence is more natural to us than public vulnerability, isn’t it? Boxing necessitates vulnerability, but you get to defend yourself and attack. Acting is like just being attacked. There’s a sense of ownership of self, however. A reclaiming of the soul that is similar to boxing. I only think of acting in the negative sense now. A public failing, a humiliation too brutal to bear.
Leaving my day job in two weeks to pursue freelancing and the creation of passive income. I am excited, and I feel more confident than previously in the success of my ventures. There is still a lot of doubt in me, however, so more confident is not enough to carry me forward fully. Little by little, rebuild a kingdom of faith inside me.