I am living guilt free. Stay in bed ’till four? OK! Eat three bagels in a row? OK! Not exercise whatsoever? OK! Sigh. None of these things are okay but I don’t know to stop the cycle of, whatever this in fact is. But things are improving. I’m not compulsively watching Friends. Just impulsively. Not up eating until the wee hours of the dawn. I may feel like I am pausing life but it is still relentlessly on play. These are the days of my life. I yawn. I can feel my wisdom teeth well coming in. What wisdom will they bring? Pain, no doubt. But pain is not wisdom. It is wisdom in the raw. It needs processing. Watched a documentary on Monsanto. It’s always the same story for any big company. They know they’re causing harm and pretend they don’t, convince others they aren’t, and silence voices with money or threats. Simple over simplification, but that’s the trend. How much am I enabling myself to stay like this? What good am I doing by not pushing in the right directions? There’s too hard and there’s too soft, and neither is helpful. Balance. Listening to Fleetwood Mac. “Will you ever win?” Unsure. 

About Undecided Pseudonym

A woman who remembers enjoying writing.
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