Can’t focus. Or rather I can, but I’m choosing not to. That’s what it feels like. V-Day. One billion rising. Violence against women is a serious epidemic. It’s not just an issue of occasional domestic violence, but rather of societies with ingrained ideas of female inferiority. All I want is to do some good in this world. It feels increasingly harder to do. But that isn’t true. When I’m hungry for something more, just write. I can type so much easier than I can write by hand these days. Why am I incessantly checking Facebook? And why can’t I stop thinking about R? My stalkerish ex. Thank goodness for restraining orders. Hopefully I won’t have to get one. Hopefully I’ll never see him ever again. But life isn’t that kind, is it? Maybe that’s why I can’t sleep. I need to see the doctor. I need a bathtub. I need to exercise. Life is what I make out of it. Right now, I’m not making much out of anything. I did get 100% on a presentation I had to do. That’s good. Be proud of the small things. Reading about stalkers. Repeated contact, direct or indirect. Emails. Facebook messages. It starts out non-threatening, but escalates. Or can escalate. Checked my email. He hasn’t sent anything. Excellent. Not naive to think he got the message, I know it’s just part of his ploy, but it’s enough to give me peace of mind for now. Controlling S.O.B. He’s not going to hurt me anymore. I’m not going to hurt myself anymore. 

About Undecided Pseudonym

A woman who remembers enjoying writing.
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