Listening to Rhiannon by Fleetwood Mac. “Will you ever win?” I feel like I’m winning. I got up early today, wrote a lot, read a lot, entertained some company. Doing well. The future doesn’t scare me nearly as much. The fear factor has reduced drastically. I am cleaning my place. Doing dishes. Is this all the work of the positive affirmations journal I started? I also stopped guilt-ing myself for my behaviour, behaviour being staying up late watching Friends, getting up really late, eating junk. Just allowing myself to exist. I’m tempted to read up on all this Woody Allen business, but I can’t handle it right now. As far as I’m concerned though, with sexual offences, guilty until proven innocent. There’s been centuries long enough victim blaming to let people get away with their horrific deeds. Dreaming about going to law school. Could I do it? I need to finish my undergrad first. I’m so scared to voice my opinions. Retaliation is hard to take. Need conviction. I have conviction. I need to be hopeful yet realistic. Balance. Always.