Don’t let other people get you down. This is important. This is important because this leads to fear and fear leads to paralysis. Internalizing doubt into self-doubt is cancerous. We need the naysayers to help us reinforce our beliefs, to help us see what’s worth shedding and what’s worth keeping, to keep evolving in the face of dismay and denial. I’m struggling to speak my thoughts, to voice my voice. What can make this easier? Can anything? Finding the need. Just like in acting. Connect to the need for the words to be said. Funny that. Tomorrow will be a new day. The gym will be open! The sun will shine! Food will be eaten. All that good stuff. Avoid screens before going to bed. Tough to do these days. I need a stronger routine. I’m building one. Routine will save me. Structure and routine, but not too much. Keep myself strong. Mentally and otherwise. Four more months. January is almost half way through.
I wonder if I’ve given up on myself. I wonder whether I just lost confidence. Or maybe I’m right, and acting just doesn’t light my fire anymore. What does? Social justice and it’s affiliated causes always have. Feminism, more and more. But to stand up for what I believe in terrifies me, even at an academic level. But it’ll be so empowering! But I can barely speak up on my own, what bravery is there in writing papers? Well, there is some. A lot, actually. Do not dismiss the power of the written word, she writes.