I think a lot of the health issues I’m having are related to nutrition. Weight gain, obviously, but difficulty in sleeping, concentrating, in motivating myself. I know how to heal myself. It’s just a matter of practicing day by day, hour by hour. Meal by meal. Food is medicine.
I am tired of being tired, of feeling incapable, of feeling so many negative things. Helpless is one of them. Trapped, ooo, trapped, big one. I am craving more food, but what I really want is to feel satisfied, and more food, no matter how tasty, will do that.
I hope the next few months do fly by, as my mother claims they will. This first week back feels long. But time will fly, it always does. I feel like I’m at a point where life will either go down the toilet or really spring upwards, and it’s all up to me, but really that’s everyday for every person.
How much is the meds and how much is me? I’m not looking forward to seeing my psychiatrist next week, for the first time. I don’t want to be perceived as having made rash decisions. But they weren’t rash. They were right. Even if it is the meds, I can’t do the work right now. What am I going to do with my life? Ah, can’t go there, don’t go there. It will come into place.