Monthly Archives: October 2013

Be Generous. Be Wholesome.

I’m always looking for a way out, when what I need to do is to dive in. Dive into the world I’m standing on the boundary of. Death is not an option. Running away is not an option. Run into … Continue reading

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Breaking Out.

I have become incarcerated by my fear, my fear to live, to really, truly live. I feel like I need to do something big and crazy to escape, but the answer lies in the small. Make my bed. Brush my … Continue reading

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Running Low.

My soul is too lonely to live. All joy is gone. I’m becoming a cliche. I don’t want to be a statistic. I’m so much more than that. I’m so much more than a shell of a woman. I’m so … Continue reading

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Saplings.

It doesn’t go away. It won’t go away. I just have to learn to live with this disease. “We do not look how we feel.” Our facades are so beautiful, so impeccably designed, yet underneath, underneath we are blackened, oozing … Continue reading

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Day After Madness.

Feeling back to normal, whatever normal has become. I have a big chef knife at home. I caress it like a child when I am ill, against my soft skin, my arms. I have stopped keeping a log of my … Continue reading

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Write.

The darkness, she returns in me. I can feel her growing again. The lack of sun is just right, the roots are already deep enough, my tears dry and heartless enough, everything cold, cold enough again. The beginning of the … Continue reading

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Be Stupid.

Truth, honesty. Big words. Love, life. Big words. Me. Small word. Again, again again again, death is not an option. Keep going, keep on running this race. I don’t have to run the race if I don’t want to. I … Continue reading

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A Tidbit.

The Smashing Pumpkins. Refuge. The things you never thought you’d miss. The things you hoped would be destroyed and are being destroyed and you’re screaming for their loss. That’s how it goes. We always get what we want, and we … Continue reading

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Living.

A chocolate croissant and an Oh Henry bar. These things were welcomed into my body. Ah. I am at a lack for words. Clown is challenging.  What sphinx of cement and aluminum bashed open their skulls and ate up their … Continue reading

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