There is no instruction manual. It’s hard to know what’s right. Check back in. How? Maybe I can. Check back in. Crisis. Danger and opportunity. Can it be repairable? I’m doing abysmally in school. How to refocus, to re-emerge, to keep going. How to know when it’s giving up and when it’s letting go? When to walk away, when to stay? I don’t understand what’s happening. I’ve gone from being a fairly strong student to completely lagging behind. I felt that I wasn’t ready. I knew it, in my gut. But I ignored it. I love my school, my program. I’m looking for strength and inspiration all around, but inside me is vacant. Vacant, empty, full of space, ready to hold and have. Disaster and success are the flip side of the same coin. Maybe this is just about remembering how badly I want this. Need this. I can’t be afraid of failure. I have to walk through the fire to the other side. There is courage in perseverance, in failing, in failing hard and still going. 

About Undecided Pseudonym

A woman who remembers enjoying writing.
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