I’m always looking for a way out, when what I need to do is to dive in. Dive into the world I’m standing on the boundary of. Death is not an option. Running away is not an option. Run into the fire. Run into the fear. I know that’s what I need to do, but how to do it? Acting is hard. I need to take off my masque, I need to be open, to really allow myself to be seen. I need to reconnect to my imagination. I need to be able to find freedom in the body. I need to remember that I am free, that nothing holds me back except myself. I’m afraid of really living, and I don’t know why. I don’t know how to fix it. It can’t be done in a day. There is no magical answer, as much as I want there to be one. Small, simple steps towards something less strangulating. But what direction to walk? I have no compass. I have no guide. I have my heart, I suppose. What better guide could there be?
So listen to my heart. And my gut. I’m only going to get out of life what I put in. That is something I need to remember as well. Be generous. Be wholesome. Do not live in lies. Do not live misguided by fear. Do not live in paralysis. Break out from the darkness. Even breaking is opening. Chose to be open, chose to free from fear. It is excitement, a challenge, an adventure, anything but fear.