The good days are necessary, they help bring strength for the relapse back into the void. The separation from the rest of humanity. The lonely dimension of existence. I expect happiness to last, which makes it worse. This too shall pass, this too shall all pass. It would no doubt be easier to die, but that is not of interest to me. I like living and I like what I do. It’s the knowledge that this could all be easier, that life can sometimes be lived with ease. That it’s different for others. But I’m not alone in this. I need to remember that. It’s very important. Maybe if I eat as much chocolate as possible, the pain will subside. This could very well be the answer. No no on. Stuffing food in my mouth won’t help. Sugar won’t help. Diet is quite important. Depression can be fought on many plains. All plains. Every plains. Planes? Plains.
There will be no magic revelation, no super-pill, no easily resolution to my pains. There will be no stone free path. My feet will bleed every foot of the way. That is simply how it goes. That is the only way it can be.