Monthly Archives: September 2013

Divorce.

Sometimes the mind wrangles up the past as brain candy. I am perplexed by my own ability to potentially destroy myself. It seems so counter-intuitive. But it’s a part of life. Week three of school finished. It feels like much … Continue reading

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Simple.

The good days are necessary, they help bring strength for the relapse back into the void. The separation from the rest of humanity. The lonely dimension of existence. I expect happiness to last, which makes it worse. This too shall … Continue reading

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Difficult, not Impossible.

A few good days in a row. Hurrah. Medications are powerful. I can talk to people again. Laughter is still proving tricky, but I am hopeful. General sense of optimism. Self-love and confidence are proving tricky as per usual, but … Continue reading

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Best of Me.

A good morning. I remember that I’ve been struggling with mental health issues for over a decade, and have still succeeded in many regards. It’s not the death sentence it’s been feeling like it is, it’s not a promise of diminishing … Continue reading

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Protecting Myself.

I always try to end with a bit of optimism. I have a desire to share something uplifting with you, dear reader. I end up lifting myself through these words as well. Funny how that happens. It has been a … Continue reading

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Struggling.

I hope these posts are relatable, helpful in some way. Today has been messy. I am feeling distanced from reality, very much an audience member than participant. I want my meds increased. I want more security. Nothing has changed in … Continue reading

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Difficulty making decisions. Difficulty writing. The future seems grim, though I know it isn’t. No one can make my problems go away. Meditation will help. Breathing. Life, I am separated from life. I envision a future where I can simply … Continue reading

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I Have Everything I Need.

A week locked in my head, more or less. Detachment from reality, fast currents of thoughts, complete confusion at what was happening around me. Maybe that’s just part of life, maybe nothings too wrong with me. But I have this … Continue reading

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Disease

Racing thoughts of nothingness. Inability to concentrate. How much of my life’s experience has been illness undiscovered? How much of life is a disease? I am stuck in myself. I shift like a rubix cube when I am around people. … Continue reading

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Day by Day

It goes, we go, time goes, day by day. In the dishevelled light of day I find a bit of sense, sometimes. My thoughts are not me. I am bigger than my own self. Than my medications, than my diagnosis, … Continue reading

Posted in Archive, Non-Fiction